So, i've been really bad about updating this blog. And this is by no means an apology. I have tried to sit down severaly times in the past month and write something... But the words came, and came, and came. and I couldn't type fast enough.
We have two days left. TWO. I have no idea where time has gone, but i know for sure I am by no means ready to leave.
These next two weeks. and especially tomorrow and wednesday are going to be super rough. I have given my entire life to 54 kids. And, it's all over in two days. Luckily, i get to spend a really camping trip with 8 5th-7th grade girls starting Sunday and ending on Friday afternoon. But, I know that time will fly too. The truth is: I don't want to leave. I don't want my kids to go back to school. I don't want to worry about ever getting to see them again. I don't want to lose them.
So, as part of my two weeks of total emotional inconsistency, I will be totally vulnerable and tell you the hardest part of each day. Starting with yesterday:
Sunday, July 25: We had to tell the Trinity UMC congregation "good-bye". These are the folks that fed us meals, gave us a home, let us into their lives, encouraged us, inspired us.
Monday, July 26: Thomas, one of my favorite campers from the beggining who I thought I would NEVER see again because his mom had decided she wanted custody, came in the doors today. I was suppose to be leading Harabee, and Katie Lee called me back to the check in. When i got there and only saw his head, I started crying. mostly tears of joy. I gave him the biggest hug ever. He didn't even notice the tears, but was really excited about showing me his new glasses.
Also, I am trying to tell the kids that we only have a few days left, hoping it won't be as emotional that way.... So, this morning when giving one of the girls a hug, I said, "I can't believe this is our last week..." and she replied, " I don't want this to be our last week." It was so sad. She doesn't always do what she's told but for some God only knows reason, she listens to what we say. She knows the ends coming, and apparently something we've said throughout this summer has mattered to her. And, I wish she knew that I too, don't want this to be our last week.
Monday, July 26, 2010
Tuesday, June 29, 2010
I've got the Joy, Joy, Joy, Joy Down In My Heart
James 1:2 Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds.
Today I found so much joy in being at site. Starting with devo's this morning, Christina spoke about how it was our 4th week. we are half way through the summer. I cannot believe how fast time went. It seems like I just finished learning everyones name and by the next time i blink, it'll all be over and i'll have to live and hope that I was able to make a difference. The joy came through a video she put together of all the memories of the first four weeks. It had photos from training days, first few days at site, the kids throughout the four weeks, and just some intern fun! It was so encouraging to see how far we've come.
When we got to site, we had harambe, like always. And then, because it's Tuesday we had Bible Lesson in the Sanctuary. We started practicing all of the song that the kids will be preforming in church on the 11th. While we just started it was so much f un to be able to lead them in songs, both fun and goofy songs and some serious songs. (I can't wait to see their performance!) While I didn't expect this to be that joyful of an experience the joy came during afternoon enrichment, while playing Trivial Pursuit in recognition on the 80's. One of the girls, Alyssa, who is usually found inside during recess. Was singing "Pharoah, Pharoah" a song I had had the opprotunity to teach them earlier that morning. It was exciting to see the girl, who usually doesn't listen when she's told to sit down, had listened to a song in Bible Lesson this morning.
Another joy of the day was when the 5th and 6th graders were getting ready to leave Arts and Crafts... I remember when I was in the 5th grade and had to go to reading. There is a slight difference from me and them. They were so excited to go reading. So excitied to meet their volunteer. But, what they were really excited for was to finish their books, to find out what was next and see how things turned out in the end. While this has no correlation to me because I don't read with the kids, seeing them excited about reading filled me with joy. Seeing how excited they were to be at PT and especially in the reading program.
After 5th and 6th grade left Arts and Crafts, it was 3rd grades turn: joyful. More time times than not, 3rd and 4th graders come with a sarcastic "joyful." But, today even after my slight lecture about listening and how disrespectful it is to not talk when it's your turn, their unconditional love was still in the prescence the entire time we divided the fantastic group from the fabulous group. The love was there when we made thems it on the patio in total silence for 2 minutes. Their love was there when there was no line to get soil, but more a few here more running all over the front lawn of the church hitting each other with their grass seed filled knee high. Their was there when Zyien thought it'd be a good idea to throw his Chia pet in a tree and love was still present in the hug that followed the remark of how it'd have to stay in the tree and he wouldn't be making another chia pet. And, love was in the room after we rushed the 3rd and 4th graders in from outside; barely in time for lunch. Even though the 3rd and 4th graders chia pets have no eyes, there was joy in the making.
It was a good reminder that we are halfway over with the program. I am half way done with the mess of a good thing I have gotten myself into. And, the next time I blink and four more week are over, I know it is love and joy that I will have in me and that each child will have in them. Even with each of the day to day problems we encounter whether it be discipline, running out of art supplies, confusion about an activity, or pouring rain: joy will always remain.
Today I found so much joy in being at site. Starting with devo's this morning, Christina spoke about how it was our 4th week. we are half way through the summer. I cannot believe how fast time went. It seems like I just finished learning everyones name and by the next time i blink, it'll all be over and i'll have to live and hope that I was able to make a difference. The joy came through a video she put together of all the memories of the first four weeks. It had photos from training days, first few days at site, the kids throughout the four weeks, and just some intern fun! It was so encouraging to see how far we've come.
When we got to site, we had harambe, like always. And then, because it's Tuesday we had Bible Lesson in the Sanctuary. We started practicing all of the song that the kids will be preforming in church on the 11th. While we just started it was so much f un to be able to lead them in songs, both fun and goofy songs and some serious songs. (I can't wait to see their performance!) While I didn't expect this to be that joyful of an experience the joy came during afternoon enrichment, while playing Trivial Pursuit in recognition on the 80's. One of the girls, Alyssa, who is usually found inside during recess. Was singing "Pharoah, Pharoah" a song I had had the opprotunity to teach them earlier that morning. It was exciting to see the girl, who usually doesn't listen when she's told to sit down, had listened to a song in Bible Lesson this morning.
Another joy of the day was when the 5th and 6th graders were getting ready to leave Arts and Crafts... I remember when I was in the 5th grade and had to go to reading. There is a slight difference from me and them. They were so excited to go reading. So excitied to meet their volunteer. But, what they were really excited for was to finish their books, to find out what was next and see how things turned out in the end. While this has no correlation to me because I don't read with the kids, seeing them excited about reading filled me with joy. Seeing how excited they were to be at PT and especially in the reading program.
After 5th and 6th grade left Arts and Crafts, it was 3rd grades turn: joyful. More time times than not, 3rd and 4th graders come with a sarcastic "joyful." But, today even after my slight lecture about listening and how disrespectful it is to not talk when it's your turn, their unconditional love was still in the prescence the entire time we divided the fantastic group from the fabulous group. The love was there when we made thems it on the patio in total silence for 2 minutes. Their love was there when there was no line to get soil, but more a few here more running all over the front lawn of the church hitting each other with their grass seed filled knee high. Their was there when Zyien thought it'd be a good idea to throw his Chia pet in a tree and love was still present in the hug that followed the remark of how it'd have to stay in the tree and he wouldn't be making another chia pet. And, love was in the room after we rushed the 3rd and 4th graders in from outside; barely in time for lunch. Even though the 3rd and 4th graders chia pets have no eyes, there was joy in the making.
It was a good reminder that we are halfway over with the program. I am half way done with the mess of a good thing I have gotten myself into. And, the next time I blink and four more week are over, I know it is love and joy that I will have in me and that each child will have in them. Even with each of the day to day problems we encounter whether it be discipline, running out of art supplies, confusion about an activity, or pouring rain: joy will always remain.
Saturday, June 26, 2010
Making Future Plans
Psalms 20:4 "May he give you the desire of your heart and make all your plans succeed."
This week was absolutely crazy. We had Family Fun night on Friday, which turned out great. It just required so much preparation.
Our theme this week was culture. Monday we went to Asia, Tuesday- Africa, Wednesday- Europe, and Thursday- South America. Most of the kids got really into it. Some of the afternoon activities consisted of Sushi with a woman from Japan (the sushie was rolled up PB&J), Tea with the Queen and Princess of a European country, and doing meditation and Yoga. one of our 1st-2nd graders, Shane, LOVED the meditation. He is normally found sitting like you'd imagine people in a temple to be during meditation, arms up and ring finger to thumb and legs criss-crossed.
Our family fun night was travel themed so we were in an airplane visiting all of these countries. The boys made a great video of the rules while on the Aircraft, it was so funn to see the kids reactions. Also, we laid out planes and clouds on the table for each of the kids and their parents to fill out about their dreams and what they wanted to be. Most of the kids had the common responses of dancers, pilots, and basketball stars. The parents dreams for their kids were just to graduate highschool/college and become something more than a minimum wage employee.
While I know some of our kids parents could care less about what they do with the rest of their life because they are so cauht up in their own life, it was amazing to see the responses posted on the wall. Even if they were the cliche answers that matched everyone elses. It was good for them to take the few moments away from thinking about themselves and actually give thought to the ones they brought into the world.
This week was absolutely crazy. We had Family Fun night on Friday, which turned out great. It just required so much preparation.
Our theme this week was culture. Monday we went to Asia, Tuesday- Africa, Wednesday- Europe, and Thursday- South America. Most of the kids got really into it. Some of the afternoon activities consisted of Sushi with a woman from Japan (the sushie was rolled up PB&J), Tea with the Queen and Princess of a European country, and doing meditation and Yoga. one of our 1st-2nd graders, Shane, LOVED the meditation. He is normally found sitting like you'd imagine people in a temple to be during meditation, arms up and ring finger to thumb and legs criss-crossed.
Our family fun night was travel themed so we were in an airplane visiting all of these countries. The boys made a great video of the rules while on the Aircraft, it was so funn to see the kids reactions. Also, we laid out planes and clouds on the table for each of the kids and their parents to fill out about their dreams and what they wanted to be. Most of the kids had the common responses of dancers, pilots, and basketball stars. The parents dreams for their kids were just to graduate highschool/college and become something more than a minimum wage employee.
While I know some of our kids parents could care less about what they do with the rest of their life because they are so cauht up in their own life, it was amazing to see the responses posted on the wall. Even if they were the cliche answers that matched everyone elses. It was good for them to take the few moments away from thinking about themselves and actually give thought to the ones they brought into the world.
Sunday, June 20, 2010
The Run
Hebrews 12:1 Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us.
For our Friday Experience, the Trinity team was given the opportunity to go to a runaway shelter for kids 10-17 yrs old. The shelter is a place, mostly for Child Protective Services, to bring kids from abusive or neglectful homes, but they also save beds for kids who are just running away from their homes and who are homeless themselves. We were able to talk to many employees and interns in different positions at the shelter, hearing a lot of different perspectives and gaining an even closer look at the shelters opperations.
Most of the youth from the shelter were gone on a field trip. However, there were two girls that did not go, so it was great getting to interact with them. The most time we had with them was during lunch. The discussion over lunch ranged from the normal where are you from to what do you want to do when you grow up questions. At the table I was eating at, the staff all asked us, and then we all waited patiently for one of the residents to share her answer. She knew exactly what college she wanted to attend and the job she wanted: a pediatrician. I really admired her to put her past behind her and make goals for here future. I guess I imagined people who were on the run would always be running, but sometimes, we just have to get where we are running to.
For our Friday Experience, the Trinity team was given the opportunity to go to a runaway shelter for kids 10-17 yrs old. The shelter is a place, mostly for Child Protective Services, to bring kids from abusive or neglectful homes, but they also save beds for kids who are just running away from their homes and who are homeless themselves. We were able to talk to many employees and interns in different positions at the shelter, hearing a lot of different perspectives and gaining an even closer look at the shelters opperations.
Our project that was given to us by the Executive Director of the shelter was to make a 5 minute PSA that they could use for grants and special meetings to market the shelter. It was so much fun to make our own video and get to be part of something that would be so impactful for the shelter. After the edits are made, it will be posted on youtube. So not only did we have a great experience, but many of us got our first acting gig!
Most of the youth from the shelter were gone on a field trip. However, there were two girls that did not go, so it was great getting to interact with them. The most time we had with them was during lunch. The discussion over lunch ranged from the normal where are you from to what do you want to do when you grow up questions. At the table I was eating at, the staff all asked us, and then we all waited patiently for one of the residents to share her answer. She knew exactly what college she wanted to attend and the job she wanted: a pediatrician. I really admired her to put her past behind her and make goals for here future. I guess I imagined people who were on the run would always be running, but sometimes, we just have to get where we are running to.
Monday, June 14, 2010
Love, Love, Love
1 Corinthians 13: 4-7 "Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrong. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trust, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails."
So, starting with devo's this morning we were told to take long term goals and pretty much put them aside for the moment and make a goal for today. Mine, "To look for God in each of the children I would see today." I thought that my goal would only revolve around my day from 9-3:30... but God, once again gave me a surprise.
Tonight we had had dinner served to us by a couple from Trinity. We were told that this one of the most popular dinners we would have all summer and the family was filled with quite the characters. Courtney (house pastor) and Erin (site coordinator) told us we'd eat dinner and then the husband would tell us his entire life story (which I was realllly looking forward to.) This was not far from the truth. When dinner was half way over, he asked us to "play a game"... the game consisted of a single question: If you could change anything in your past, what would it be? So we all went around the table and answered the question. That question really has nothing to do with the blog. But, after we got to answer that question the couple started sharing their love story with us. We left, but I could've stayed a few more hours.
On the way home, the other three girls and I just talked about relationships and what we wanted and expected in loving relationships in the future. It was so good to hear others opinions, some of the opinions even matched what I thought, which was also comforting. But, with talking to the other girls and giving my own ideas I feel like 1 Corinthians says it best:
"Love is patient" Love waits for the right person. Love doesn't have deadlines, Love doens't happen too soon or too late. Love isn't perfect, but love makes compromises that takes time, calling each member bound by love it be: patient.
"Love is kind." Love does nice things for each other. Love doesn't hurt.
"It [love] does not envy" Love is thankful for the people you have, not wanting them to change so you can look better in the eyes of others.
"It [love] does not boast." Love doesn't happen because of what others can do for you. You don't fall in love with others because of the things they can do. Love doesn't give bragging rights.
"It [love] is not proud." Love is not for self-gratification.
"It [love] is not rude." Love is not offensive, love is being open.
"It [love] is not self-seeking." Love isn't something you do for yourself. Love is always being watchful of the others around you. Always putting others first, giving of yourself and expecting nothing in return.
"It [love] is not easily angered." Love doesn't sweat the petty things in life. Love loves at all times, in arguments and in differences.
"It [love] keeps no records of wrongs." Love forgives and forgets. It doesn't continue to bring up past mistakes, but looks forward to future rights.
"Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth." Love is always honest, even in times when being honest is hard. Love doesn't lie to others to make oneself look better.
"It [love] always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres." Love is a relationship in which you can confide and know you are safe. Love allows for honesty and expects it to happen. Love always wishes for the best at all times. Love always continues with hard work and dedication.
"Love never fails" For, if something is to fail, it is not love.
A friend once told me that 1 Corinthians 13: 4-7 was just a beginning point that outlined love, I feel as if i disagree.
So, starting with devo's this morning we were told to take long term goals and pretty much put them aside for the moment and make a goal for today. Mine, "To look for God in each of the children I would see today." I thought that my goal would only revolve around my day from 9-3:30... but God, once again gave me a surprise.
Tonight we had had dinner served to us by a couple from Trinity. We were told that this one of the most popular dinners we would have all summer and the family was filled with quite the characters. Courtney (house pastor) and Erin (site coordinator) told us we'd eat dinner and then the husband would tell us his entire life story (which I was realllly looking forward to.) This was not far from the truth. When dinner was half way over, he asked us to "play a game"... the game consisted of a single question: If you could change anything in your past, what would it be? So we all went around the table and answered the question. That question really has nothing to do with the blog. But, after we got to answer that question the couple started sharing their love story with us. We left, but I could've stayed a few more hours.
On the way home, the other three girls and I just talked about relationships and what we wanted and expected in loving relationships in the future. It was so good to hear others opinions, some of the opinions even matched what I thought, which was also comforting. But, with talking to the other girls and giving my own ideas I feel like 1 Corinthians says it best:
"Love is patient" Love waits for the right person. Love doesn't have deadlines, Love doens't happen too soon or too late. Love isn't perfect, but love makes compromises that takes time, calling each member bound by love it be: patient.
"Love is kind." Love does nice things for each other. Love doesn't hurt.
"It [love] does not envy" Love is thankful for the people you have, not wanting them to change so you can look better in the eyes of others.
"It [love] does not boast." Love doesn't happen because of what others can do for you. You don't fall in love with others because of the things they can do. Love doesn't give bragging rights.
"It [love] is not proud." Love is not for self-gratification.
"It [love] is not rude." Love is not offensive, love is being open.
"It [love] is not self-seeking." Love isn't something you do for yourself. Love is always being watchful of the others around you. Always putting others first, giving of yourself and expecting nothing in return.
"It [love] is not easily angered." Love doesn't sweat the petty things in life. Love loves at all times, in arguments and in differences.
"It [love] keeps no records of wrongs." Love forgives and forgets. It doesn't continue to bring up past mistakes, but looks forward to future rights.
"Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth." Love is always honest, even in times when being honest is hard. Love doesn't lie to others to make oneself look better.
"It [love] always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres." Love is a relationship in which you can confide and know you are safe. Love allows for honesty and expects it to happen. Love always wishes for the best at all times. Love always continues with hard work and dedication.
"Love never fails" For, if something is to fail, it is not love.
A friend once told me that 1 Corinthians 13: 4-7 was just a beginning point that outlined love, I feel as if i disagree.
Saturday, June 12, 2010
After the first week with the kids and first Friday Experience
Zechariah 7:10". . . . In your heart do not think evil of each other."
So I thought I'd have a lot more time for this blog, but after the first week I found out how truly busy I will be. This week was so good though. Our kids were angels on Thursday which makes waiting on Monday to get here hard, but we've got a full packed weekend. So, it'll fly by I'm sure.
Between the last time I blogged and thursday, I learned so much about each of the kids. And, I also learned I love the kids that get in trouble the most. Weird. But, through all of my one-on-one time with the "trouble-makers" they have really started to confide in me. It blows my mind how trusting kids can be. Or maybe, it blows my mind how trusting others is so hard for me . I would have never told some of their stories to an adult, to anyone. But, I am so glad that I get to be someone the confide in during this summer. I do not know what I'm going to do when August comes, telling them all, 'Bye, see you next summer!" might be one of the hardet things I will ever have to do, until next summer, when there won't be a "next summer."
Some of the stories I was told ranged from having four siblings and a mom in jail, the loss of a baby brother when you were only three that still brought you to tears, and the fact that if kids don't stop being mean to you, you'll be forced to go back to karate-which you hate. The thing is, none of the kids choose this life. Yet, they have to wake up with these burdens each and every day. That's heartbreaking.
Yesterday, at our Friday Experience, we all just packed up and went to Dallas. When we got there, we found out that we would just be reflecting over the first week. Doesn't sound that hard, right? Going from station to station, it was so moving. One station you were suppose to write down your biggest fear about your call.. The others, you finger painted, you could watch a video and then journal about it, pick a photo of another intern and take it with you to pray about them through the rest of the summer. It was so cool to just be in a room with 98 other people who had a similar last week as yours, a last two weeks. There were so many tears, tears of joy.
"The place God calls you to is the place where your deep gladness and the worlds deep hunger meet" -- frederick buechner
So I thought I'd have a lot more time for this blog, but after the first week I found out how truly busy I will be. This week was so good though. Our kids were angels on Thursday which makes waiting on Monday to get here hard, but we've got a full packed weekend. So, it'll fly by I'm sure.
Between the last time I blogged and thursday, I learned so much about each of the kids. And, I also learned I love the kids that get in trouble the most. Weird. But, through all of my one-on-one time with the "trouble-makers" they have really started to confide in me. It blows my mind how trusting kids can be. Or maybe, it blows my mind how trusting others is so hard for me . I would have never told some of their stories to an adult, to anyone. But, I am so glad that I get to be someone the confide in during this summer. I do not know what I'm going to do when August comes, telling them all, 'Bye, see you next summer!" might be one of the hardet things I will ever have to do, until next summer, when there won't be a "next summer."
Some of the stories I was told ranged from having four siblings and a mom in jail, the loss of a baby brother when you were only three that still brought you to tears, and the fact that if kids don't stop being mean to you, you'll be forced to go back to karate-which you hate. The thing is, none of the kids choose this life. Yet, they have to wake up with these burdens each and every day. That's heartbreaking.
Yesterday, at our Friday Experience, we all just packed up and went to Dallas. When we got there, we found out that we would just be reflecting over the first week. Doesn't sound that hard, right? Going from station to station, it was so moving. One station you were suppose to write down your biggest fear about your call.. The others, you finger painted, you could watch a video and then journal about it, pick a photo of another intern and take it with you to pray about them through the rest of the summer. It was so cool to just be in a room with 98 other people who had a similar last week as yours, a last two weeks. There were so many tears, tears of joy.
"The place God calls you to is the place where your deep gladness and the worlds deep hunger meet" -- frederick buechner
Monday, June 7, 2010
1st Day with the kids, what a blessing!
Luke 18:16-17 "But Jesus called the children to him and said, "Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of GOD belongs to such as these. I tell you the truth, anyone who will not recieve the kingdom of GOD like a little child will never enter it."
Today was the first day with the kids and it was a total blesssing! All of the kids seemed so happy to be there. I was lucky enough to get to lead Harambe (swahili for "come together") this morning which is just a moment of singing and dancing and playing games. It was such a great time, even the kids who were "too cool" to play the games and sing the songs, still had a sparkle in their eye!
Recess was probably the highlight of the day for me. We all go outside with them and supervise. But, one of the little boys, Brayden, went and picked an orageish lily looking flower for me. It was definatly the sweetest thing ever! But, it did not end there. One of the 1st grade girls, Faith, also thought I needed another flower, especially from her. So, I got a purpleish flower. I'm not totally sure, but I don't think they should've been picking these flowers off the trees and bushes. But it was just too sweet... and I had to close my eyes so it was a surprise, so it's not like I saw them pick them...which makes it okay, right? haha
Throughout today I just felt so blessed and loved. Most of the kids gave the other interns and I all of their trust the moment we met them. Wouldn't the world be a lot different if trust was handed out like children do. It is like Jesus knew kids would be so trusting, especially in him, someone who wouldn't let them down and always love and protect them.
I found a new definition of love today. Everyone says you should always have something to love, someone to love, and somewhere to love. Love should be an emotion you can see yourself doing for the next 1389752 years and never growing out of love with it. Today, I found my something, working with kids.
Today was the first day with the kids and it was a total blesssing! All of the kids seemed so happy to be there. I was lucky enough to get to lead Harambe (swahili for "come together") this morning which is just a moment of singing and dancing and playing games. It was such a great time, even the kids who were "too cool" to play the games and sing the songs, still had a sparkle in their eye!
Recess was probably the highlight of the day for me. We all go outside with them and supervise. But, one of the little boys, Brayden, went and picked an orageish lily looking flower for me. It was definatly the sweetest thing ever! But, it did not end there. One of the 1st grade girls, Faith, also thought I needed another flower, especially from her. So, I got a purpleish flower. I'm not totally sure, but I don't think they should've been picking these flowers off the trees and bushes. But it was just too sweet... and I had to close my eyes so it was a surprise, so it's not like I saw them pick them...which makes it okay, right? haha
Throughout today I just felt so blessed and loved. Most of the kids gave the other interns and I all of their trust the moment we met them. Wouldn't the world be a lot different if trust was handed out like children do. It is like Jesus knew kids would be so trusting, especially in him, someone who wouldn't let them down and always love and protect them.
I found a new definition of love today. Everyone says you should always have something to love, someone to love, and somewhere to love. Love should be an emotion you can see yourself doing for the next 1389752 years and never growing out of love with it. Today, I found my something, working with kids.
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